William Goldman, The Princess Bride (via thoughtsdetained)
ZACH!!!! It was good to see you. Kelsi
3 years ago
I was going to send you a postcard of this picture, but now I think it’s too late. Bummer. Here it is anyway.
(By Patrick Moberg, duh.)
3 years ago
OMG “Make Me A Supermodel” Ben was on the train with me all the way to the Franklin stop tonight!!!
3 years ago“Scrabulous is disabled for US and Canadian users until further notice. If you would like to stay informed about developments in this matter, please click here.”
Hasbro has sued the Indian brothers who programmed Scrabulous, the most popular application on Facebook, for infringement of copyright on their game of Scrabble. Oh well, the Corporate Evil marches on…..
What a terrible start to my morning! This is especially lame, because the new official Scrabble application totally sucks and I can’t even get it to work. Ah well, there goes my only reason to use Facebook…
Oh no!
3 years agoTaft / Sherman 08.
3 years agoTo add to our MOVIES WITH SPIT-TAKES marathon:
“Can’t Hardly Wait”
Oh my god, so good. It’s on TV right now!! See 2:14. Also, bonus, that guy’s the son from Hook.
Someone OR SOMETHING was in our apartment and TOOK MY MIRROR. Right out of my bedroom. It’s no where to be found. Nothing else appears to be missing, except for maybe a half eaten bag of tortilla chips (no bag in the trash).
There are no signs of forced entry and no evidence that the mirror was broken in my room before it was removed. No evidence of a broken mirror in the trash.
Our subletter, Rebecca, might have been involved. No statement from her yet. No note, either.
Theories-
1. School is out, so it might have been kids that somehow got in through the back window, hung out in our house, then stole a very specific item that would be sure to be noticed.
2. Rebecca moved it to her room, broke it, threw it away outside, and didn’t leave a note.
3. The Rapture?
4. Some people are pranking me. Somehow the got my keys off my wallet while at was lunch, came to my house (who knows where I live??), stole my mirror, came all the way back to Manhattan and put my keys back on my wallet.
Erica and I have the creeps. Not calling-the-cops level, but I’m FOR SURE not watching any Law & Order alone for at least a week.
PS. Do you know any detectives?
It sounds like you have a “choose your own adventure” on your hands:
To confront the subletter, see A.
To passive aggressively never mention it to the subletter, see B.
To check craigslist and local pawn shops, see C.
To ignore the situation, see D.
To mention the mirror in a joking manner while she is inebriated or tired, see E.
A: You confront the subletter in a very straight forward manner. She says she has no idea what happened to the mirror but remembers seeing a guy in a skull cap sneaky out the fire escape with something bulky and offering him a snack for the road. For ever more you will keep you tortilla chips out of sight and place your new mirror so that it reflects the light from the window and blinds future would be vain fire escape intruders. You are never able to watch Law and Order, Scooby Do or Rescue 9-1-1 reruns alone again.
B: You never accuse the subletter directly but make comments continuously like, “Does this outfit look weird? I wouldn’t ask but my mirror is MIA.” Or “Isn’t it odd when someone breaks something and doesn’t admit it. I mean come on, man up. If someone broke something of mine I wouldn’t even yell or whatever.”
C: Search craigslist, the penny-saver and pawn shops for a mirror matching your description. If the mirror is found threaten to tell the kids mom (the assailant will definitely be a minor). You feel super smart and detective-y but also like a nark. This is very intense. You consider getting a certificate in Criminal Justice from the school they are always advertising on the subway. Be aware that if you do not find the mirror you will have to go back to the beginning and choose another adventure.
D: What mirror? Mirrors are stupid and vain. In fact I am against them and relieved I don’t have one.
Complete this mantra until such time as you have purchased a replacement. It will dull the pain. Your relationship with your roommates is unchanged but you develop a weird habit of gluing everything is walls and shelves. You seek help but are unable to overcome the quirk.
E: And liquor, play a little apples to apples to grease the wheels and then make remarks like, “Wouldn’t it be so weird to move/break/borrow something and not tell anyone? Wouldn’t that be creepy/hilarious? Would you ever do that?” Wait for the confession and add more liquor as necessary. You are forced to repeat these steps in a couple of settings (work/home/bodega) until the truth comes out. After several choreographed sessions you have interrogated everyone you know and found no answers. You develop a socially crippling habit of interrogating everyone you come into contact with. After 8 years of this behavior you turn to Dr. Phil for an intervention. He brings in the guy who wrote “He’s just not that into you” who says, “ you never had a mirror”. Dr. Phil explains that it was an illusion, then he and the author take your chips and salsa offering you the explanation that on one owns a snack. The snack is self-determining. You are never able to watch Dr. Phil, Dr. Keith or any other Dr. “first name” again. You are not disappointed.
-Kelsi
3 years ago